BUT, God's love says to my heart GO, SEE, LISTEN, LOVE.

The day started off with time with friends, a trip to the airport and a walk on the beach. The sun was shining after a 3-day rain storm. I thought "all is well." My body is achy battling this Lyme disease but my soul is well. I was happy as I walked along the beach with my Jer. I loved seeing all the seaweed that the storm had brought up and talking with the guy flying the quadcopter on the beach.

With being in a new city, we are always exploring new places. Every day there is a "new" something. We were looking for a yogurt place nearby and could not find it. BUT we found someone else.

So, in pulling in the parking garage I saw her from across the garage. We pulled by her and she had her head down and was moving so slowly. We drove past her and parked. I said to Jer "do you think she is ok?" He replied "I don't know."  We continued on to the store that was above the parking lot. The store was so well ordered and clean. Delicious fresh produce and smiling faces. I thought, everything is so beautiful here.   We walked outside still looking for the supposed yogurt place near by. I was still thinking about the lady we had seen.

When we couldn't find the yogurt place, we went back into the parking garage from the other side, which would've been closer to where she was earlier.  I didn't see her when we entered, and part of me was relieved. In being a nurse, I seem to always be in places where there is a medical crisis. On flights, near car accidents, finding someone passed out on the sidewalk in Philly, etc. I am serious, ask Jer, it happens all the time. Anyways,  what goes through my heart in those moments is that I don't have what it takes. I'm not equipped. If I do something, I might fail or mess things up. It's just better to not get involved. If I don't see it, I don't need to do anything and there is no risk. (Yep, I really think that sometimes. It's terrible, right?).

BUT, God's love says to my heart GO, SEE, LISTEN, LOVE. 

Anyways, we got near the car and I saw her sitting in front of our car on a railing. (Oh no, I have to go). I asked Jer if I should go and he said yes. He always encourages me with his yes's. When I approached her she could not even look at me. I asked if she was ok and she said "I will be fine. I am just weak." I asked if there was anything that I could do and at that point she got up and started walking. I told her that I was a nurse. She looked up towards the door of the store which was at the top of an escalator and her eyes dropped. I said "that is a long way to go when you don't feel well, huh?"

She looked at me and started up the escalator and I rode along with her. (Oh Lord, please don't let her pass out).  She shared with me some of her story. I won't go into many details but I will share that it was her first pregnancy and she was really sick. Her insurance hadn't kicked in yet and she could not hold any foods or fluids down. (Oh boy, here we go. It's medical. I knew it. Lord, help me. Please help me). As we entered the store, we talked about a few ideas for hydration during pregnancy. (So thankful for those days as a prenatal nurse).  She wouldn't let me get her anything to drink or one of those electric carts. Literally, she was barely moving. She said "I will be fine once I get a cart and can lean against it as I walk." She looked me straight in the eyes.  I saw her determination and tenacity. I also saw in her eyes utter fear. Her eyes were soft towards me and she thanked me and said she would be ok. I sensed I should go. (But Lord, I could do this for her.. or that for her. I haven't done enough. What if she passes out right here in the store. I need to fix it. I need to do more). As she reached for the cart I asked for her name and let her know that I was going to be praying for her. She was teary. So was I.

I went outside and Jer (my sweet man) was outside praying for me. Don't know what I would do without this man's prayers. He was smiling at me, waiting, ready to listen to me. I told him that there was one more thing I needed to do and that was to get her some coconut water. I went back in and bought the water, found her in the Gatorade isle close by with the security guard who seemed to be with her. I gave it to her and we chatted a little,  exchanged smiles and I left. 

As I walked out of the store, I wondered so much about her whole story. She looked so tired, so scared and at the same time so bold and confident. Stubborn just like me and not accepting help. I am sure she had so many other feelings. Relationships. Brokenness. Did she feel excited about this baby? What did the days ahead hold I wondered to myself as i walked away.

When I got back outside to Jer we walked to the car. I shared what happened and we just prayed. Prayed for her, this man, this baby. Her story, her fears, her hopes and dreams. We prayed that she would be able to hold down fluids and get hydrated.  We also thanked God for putting her in our path. 

So Kas (not her real name) was on my heart all afternoon. It changed the way I interacted with other people that I saw. What has happened in me? I told Jesus I didn't want to carry everyone I meet and all their "stuff."  I felt He said "you don't have to carry them, just bring them to me. I will carry them and all that they are carrying. And I will carry you Heather as you carry people's stories in your heart."

This has freed me to be fully present to the person that is in front of me. God is big enough, loving enough, huge enough, tender enough, kind enough, perfect enough to carry it all.  As i walked throughout the day, I felt a sense of being thankful for where I was in that moment. The people who we met were the only ones in our lives and path at that moment. Freeing right?

Speaking of God's kindness... right when we got home and my heart started to get a little prideful and think "maybe U am gifted at this listening thing"..y'all, I fell straight down on the driveway. There I sat, with my stuff that was in my hands scattered everywhere.. and I was reminded of my humanity, my brokenness, my frailty, my hurrying and unawareness. (Oh Lord, you are funny. OK, I remember again that this is about you and not about me. You have my attention. I want you Lord. Please use me.)  Sweet man came and helped me up. I have a hard time resting and stopping and slowing down.. and sometimes God has to help me with that. My body is ok. It just caused me to look up again. 

Will you join me in praying for Kas and this little one inside of her? Will you also join us by listening to those around you who may or may not have others that see them and listen to them?  

Please share with us those that you meet and how you are changed by meeting them.

Blessings,

Heather 

PS. The day after I met Kas, I was back in the area of that store again. I walked over there and guess who I saw... the guy who was with her the day before! (Oh no, am I supposed to talk with him). to make a long story short, I did talk with him. He was very glad that I approached him. He reported that Kas had felt SO much better after the coconut water AND that she had eaten for the first time in a long time. She was feeling better. We chatted for a while gave him my phone number to give her in case she needed anything before her insurance kicked in and we parted ways. (I don't normally give my phone number but I think that was the right thing to do in this case).  Stay tuned.